When I was 33 years old, I returned to college. My daughter was 8 months old, and her fingers--holding my shoulder from her kiddie backpack--were on my college ID picture.
My daughter, teaching jobs, and marriage were all part of my concern when I planned my return to college. Little did I know that it would take eight years to complete graduate school and finish with not only a degree but 8, 6, and 4-year-old children! My life was a constant swirl of activity. Logistics, stop/reflect, let go, and the power of yet were my survival tools to achieve college/life balance.
First, logistics, including a support team, must be put into place. My family, friends, and colleagues agreed to help me with my kids and occasional errands. I asked them to let me know when I was stressed and overwhelmed. Others can often see what we can’t. Exhaustion makes it difficult to ask for help, and using a support team is a best preventative practice. Once in college, I also made my professors and classmates part of my team. It is freeing to ask for help and a time saver.
Logistics also
includes a reliable babysitter, car (my college was far away with no online
classes), and funding source for both tuition and books. Not factoring in the
cost of learning materials or a babysitter can end the start to a learning or degree dream. In
addition, creating a space at home for quiet study is important. I put small
desks in the corners of a room close to my kids’ play space and upstairs in a back
hallway; I studied in both places when my family was occupied or asleep.
Finding the closest public or college library and studying away from obligation
are also excellent college logistics
tools.
Another central piece of school/life balance is scheduling,
part of the stop/reflect survival
tip for balancing school and life. Learning success takes time, and course work
takes more time as classes advance. A realistic schedule to fit course reading,
writing, critical thinking, test taking, and big assignments requires a stop/reflect analysis about how and
when to get work done. For example, I am not a morning person; therefore, I scheduled
study time at night, at the library when my husband was home and around work
and family activities.
Sometimes, in order to achieve my graduation dream, I had to
give up activities that meant a great deal to me and let go of my guilt and sorrow for not being able to do everything.
Going to school requires self-sacrifice and lots of letting go of parts of a former life! It’s hard. It takes grit. For
instance, confession: I love watching sports on television. I had to let go of a lot of my game watching
during college. It was sad but worthwhile; I got my degree!
Finally, it’s hard to start a dream that requires logistics, stop/reflect, let go, AND still
find that it’s not enough. That’s where the final survival tool to achieve balance
school and life is important: the “power
of yet.” In Janelle Monae’s Sesame Street video, “Power of Yet,” she sings and dances to let us all know that it takes “believing in yourself, working hard, and staying focused to know that one day you'll get to where you want to go. That is the power of yet.”
No one
will ever say that going to college, whether young or old, starting or
returning, is easy. However, everyone says that getting a degree is a dream
come true. With the help of the survival tools logistics, stop/reflect, let go, and the power of yet, it is
possible to walk across a school or college graduation stage with everyone cheering! That
is indeed a dream come true and the secret tool kit to achieve college/life
balance!
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